Behaviour Change

PROPAGANDA FOR CHANGE is a project created by the students of Behaviour Change (ps359) and Professor Thomas Hills @thomhills at the Psychology Department of the University of Warwick. This work was supported by funding from Warwick's Institute for Advanced Teaching and Learning.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018

Ask to be rejected and you achieve more than you think

Rejection hurts, right? No one likes to be rejected, but learning how to deal with these situations can significantly improve your life. Ted Speaker and author of Rejection Proof, Jia Jiang started a journey of 100 days of rejection to build the strength to accept negative emotional responses associated with being denied something he wants. Learning from rejection is one of the habits of mentally strong people, according to psychotherapist Amy Morin. She teaches us how mentally strong people are able to overcome rejection by:

1.     Acknowledging their emotions: admit that you are feeling an uncomfortable emotion;
2.     Viewing rejection as pushing their limits: expect rejection when you leave your comfort zone, it only means your living your life to the fullest;
3.     Treating themselves with compassion: don’t be a harsh critic, just be kind to yourself;
4.     Refusing to let rejection define them: one person’s opinion does not express your worth;
5.     Learning from rejection: turn rejection into an opportunity for self-growth.

It is only by asking questions and getting yourself out there that you can be rejected. Simply by asking, you can get ahead of the game: in fact, it has been found that people are more likely than they think to get what they want just by posing a specific question with a reason. Although this could encourage you to ask for what you want more often, it doesn’t mean you will never get a no as an answer. Instead, the more the requests, the more the chances of being rejected. If you want to become mentally strong, be prepared for asking questions and being rejected – it will be hard, but you will definitely go a long way and achieve more than you think.


Flynn, F., & Lake, V. (2008). If you need help, just ask: Underestimating compliance with direct requests for help. Journal Of Personality And Social Psychology95(1), 128-143.

Jiang, J. (2015) What I learned from 100 days of rejection

Morin, A. (2015). 5 Ways Mentally Strong People Deal With Rejection. Inc.. Retrieved from

Morin, A. (2015). The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong

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